Secret Church was awesome. Gospel-heavy; Christ-centered. I thoroughly enjoyed the presence of such wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, who challenge me, and whom I admire and long for the same love which they have for Christ. I shudder to think about the fact that the only times I truly look to Christ and yearn with a broken and contrite heart is when I sit in the guilt of sin I when reflecting upon my days, my daily bread from God, of which I say is not enough. Is my love for God really contingent upon how guilty I feel from sin? O Lord, heal my sick heart. Enliven it for love of You. May I long for You. May I look for You with the heart of a bride looking for the Bridegroom. I thirst for a thirsting for You. Slake the desire of my heart to have a heart that desires You. Lord, hear me, I pray.

I long for a heart that is enlivened to feel a love such as what is shown between to men who loved each other from a fellowship in the Gospel. It was the service of the Lord that brought these two to a relationship similar to that of David and Jonathan; a brotherhood. See the Gospel-centered care that George Whitefield and John Wesley had for one another in this letter from Whitefield to Wesley in the anticipation of Wesley's death from consumption:

Bristol, Dec. 3, 1753.
Rev. and very Dear Sir:

If seeing you so weak when leaving London distressed me, the news and prospect of you approaching dissolution hath quite weighed me down. I pity myself and the Church, but not you. A radiant thron awaits you, and ere long you will enter into your Master's joy. Yonder He stands with a massy crown, ready to put it on your head, amidst an admiring throng of saints and angels. But I, poor I, that have been waiting for my dissolution these nineteen years, must be left behind to grovel here below! Well, this is my comfort: it cannot be long ere the chariots will be sent even for worthless me. If prayers can detain them, even you, Rev. and very dear sir, shall not leave us yet; but if the decree is gone forth that you must now fall asleep in Jesus, may He kiss your soul away, and give you to die in the embraces of triumphant love! If in the land of the dying, I hope to pay my last respects to you next week. If not, Rev. and very dear sir, f-a-r-e-w-e-ll. Eg sequar, etsi non passivus oequis (I shall follow, though not with equal steps). My heart is too big, tears trickle down too fast, and you are, I fear, too weak for me to enlarge. Underneath you may there be Christ's everlasting arms! I commend you to His never-failing mercy, and am,

"Rev. and very Dear Sir,

"Your most affectionate, sympathizing, and afflicted younger brother in the Gospel of our common Lord.

G. Whitefield